hope when all hope is gone

I'm dreading finding out the results of the American election. It will be disasterous if Donald Trump wins, and I'm not sure how I will manage to lift myself out of the inevitable hopelessness if it happens. Even if he doesn't win I'm still despairing that so many people would vote for someone filled with so much hate and so little respect. What have we come to?

I'm going to go to bed before the coverage even starts and hopefully it will all be over when I wake.  as if to match the mood of many of my friends,  the weather outside is frightful.  I'm very glad I don't have to venture out first thing tomorrow.  some days the juggling of my three jobs pays off.

If you are off out in the first of the wintery weather,  I hope it's not too bad. Let's hope the morning is better than feared and that love trumps hate...

can you feel the love tonight?

I struggled for much of the weekend and so wisely chose to do a jigsaw on Sunday afternoon. Last week I checked out all the local charity shops for stocking presents and as well as a find for each of my kids I saw a jigsaw for a pound, which turned out to be a great treat when feeling miserable. I'm not sure why it appeals so much, I have just checked and I mention doing jigsaws quite a lot in my blog. Is it because unlike life generally in a jigsaw I can find where something fits, it's predictable and manageable and the end is in sight. So when life doesn't feel like that, it's nice to immerse myself in producing something that feels more possible. That and I just love colours and you have to look intently at the shading to match pieces.
I also got to watch the lion king which I've never done before, despite my love of kids films. And before you think it was a lazy day, I'm pleased to report I finally got round to doing the final mow of the year, which as I've left it so late had to be preceded by raking. I like raking tho, a fab activity to delay the need for putting the heating on as its very warming. I've left the rake out in the hope I will do more this week. Tho I'm not actually at home in the light much this week, which us problematic not least cos we need the table next Saturday so when exactly am I going to complete the jigsaw??

every life is sacred (pigs and mice too)

I could hear the pigs' distressed squeals some distance away. I can still clearly recall it now, from several days ago. It spoiled the walk for me, feeling helpless when confronted by the suffering, and met with the attitude that being led to slaughter was the only reason they existed in the first place. My response was what makes us think we as humans are so special? What justifies our arrogance that a human life is sacred but that of an animal is not?

Sometimes I feel isolated and misunderstood. I imagine lots of us feel that way at times. I was cheered therefore to see this clip.

http://www.aol.co.uk/video/a-plea-for-the-animals-5807d88c76a6050bae2f2890/

I think we all need to keep looking for healthy ways to reduce our sense of isolation. Mine today will involve going to church and hopefully catching up with a friend. I've felt down for much of the weekend, and didn't like that feeling in the middle of the night on waking when I suddenly remembered just how many people are cross with me at the moment. Probably a day for reminding myself that all will be well.

whizz bangs

Bonfire night falling on a Saturday is ideal but no longer relevant now I have a scaredy dog as I won't be going anywhere. We've had lots of fresh air today tho so will enjoy curling up in front of the fire, I'm hoping to finish my book. We're going to dip baguette into camembert which will be lovely.  I did some energetic gardening so that I can have a winter pudding too.
Maybe I'll have a sneaky look out of an upstairs window later to enjoy some colours, meanwhile the natural colours today were lovely.

my body is a temple

My body is the only one I will ever get and I could do a lot more to look after it better. Today i have a day off so I'm cramming as much self care in as possible and making a note to try and do more every day rather than once in a blue moon.
I was pleased to get a slot for today for the final massage in the series I booked. There was lots of tension in my shoulders and calves. And a walk amongst the trees before they lose the last of their leaves was a smart move too.

Autumn/winter

November has taken me by surprise - how on earth can it be November? The month before Christmas. The frost this morning was beautiful but again seemed really unexpected. I'm still at the end of summer. I need to catch up. Maybe a day off tomorrow will help.

toilet roll code red!

We are all different in what motivates us. My boyfriend needs the stimulus of a rapidly approaching limit to get moving, whereas I find I don't work so well with an impending deadline, the panic clouds my thinking.

He currently gets a student discount on groceries (something I'm disproportionately joyous about) so at the moment is the main hunter gatherer in terms of shopping. With just a few sheets left on the last toilet roll, he says he is more likely to get it today now it's code red.

I'm much more like my dad, prone to stock piling in case of being snowed in. Whilst there is every likelihood that my dad will be snowed in this winter, I have to remind myself that it is extremely unlikely here. I much prefer full cupboards tho, that reassurance that even if I was ill, my kids could just rustle something up. Which is silly cos my kids could just as easily nip to the shop and then make something.

To be fair the reason my boyfriend didn't get it yesterday was the essay he is writing that's due in. I'd be struggling to write it with such an immediate time limit and would have finished it last week, but that's not how he, or many others, work. 

I'm reminded of the biblical instruction to not store up things. And I'm aware anything I gather could be lost in a fire. Living day to day suits some people. But I still would rather have a good supply of tins in. Just in case.