handling fear

We all seem quite different. I'm sure fear hits us differently. And we handle it in our own ways. Some bury it deep down. Some manage not to give it any credence and keep it bay that way. Others take a really good look at it in all its enormity and feel everything that it brings up and weep buckets. No prizes for guessing which category I am in. I wonder why we differ - there will be many other ways too that I've not thought of. Is it how we are brought up? Do we see the ways others around us deal with fear and emulate it or cast around for alternatives depending how we see it going?
Being such a control freak I guess I like to take charge of my fear, bringing it out into the open and getting a good grasp of the scale of it so I know better how to tackle it. Have a bit of a joke with it even. That's not everyone's bag tho, I know. Whatever you might be afraid of at the moment, here's a big bunch of love for however you are handling it.

Since Paul was killed I have felt keenly powerless over death. At the moment I'm acutely aware that I have no control over illness, I can't stop bombs going off in the city where my friends live, and have no influence over exam results that I've not taken myself. It's not a good time to be a control freak - I know I just need to keep letting go of that desire to be in charge, to go with the flow of all that comes next.

serving time

Home from work and straight to bed ill instead of carrying on with my other roles and all the other things I'd planned to do tonight. Up briefly now as there's things that need doing but still burning up so back to bed. It's frustrating as I feel I could carry on with stuff only my body isn't complying. I sometimes wonder if it takes drastic action to insist I rest. It feels a bit like I have to serve time until I get the green light to go again.

gotta wear shades

I'm still tireder than a tired thing, but need to get everyone going as this morning is the rehearsal for next Sunday's service with input from the Sunday school.
Sunscreen is in order, tho maybe after church. I wonder where my sunglasses might be...

As you know I'm not a sun fan. Looking forward to washing the suncream off. I've had a bit of a headache for a few days so will be glad when this weather breaks (sorry, I know I'm a spoilsport). Even the rain hasn't cleared my head. Maybe an early night and tomorrow I will be brighter. But first let me try that too of finding three things I'm grateful for:
Lovely Haloumi kebabs
Staying in touch via the marvel that is the internet
Soft dog who cuddles up to me so often that I don't even notice sometimes

dog-tired

Today I am (momentarily) contemplating the origin of the term dog-tired. A cursory glance at the internet tells me it might be derived from Alfred the Great's sons chasing hunting dogs and whichever caught the most got to sit at their father's right hand side for the evening meal, dog tired from their exertions.
I've hardly been chasing packs of hounds, more trailing after a pooch who now exceeds me in years, but still has way more energy than I have.
I was so very tired at last night's party. I didn't feel much like socializing, but enjoyed sitting at my boyfriend's father's right hand - sometimes its just good to remember what a privilege it is to spend time in people's company. I managed a bit of dancing, but on getting home just before midnight hit the pillow and was out like a light.

How ace is it that I can watch a david lamotte concert live via Facebook?!

go on go on go on

I'm frequently offered a drink when I make a home visit with work and I always politely decline - apart from anything else I don't like to ask if I can then use their loo. Today I wasn't even asked, someone came to the room specially, opened a new bottle of something very pink and very fizzy (pop, not alcohol), poured a glass and thrust it towards me. When I said no thanks, there was much confusion, and I could see it definitely wasn't the done thing to refuse. I tried to see if mum would have it instead, but was firmly told it was for me. (The entire visit was conducted through google translate).

On arriving home, my daughter greeted me with a homemade coctail based around crushed melon but again, fizzy. I am not doing so well with my healthy eating plan. And yet it seemed better to be polite. I'll just try and stick to the water when we're out tonight and hope that doesn't look rude at the party.

colouring in!

My re-ordered colouring book has arrived and I'm very excited by the pictures - I think this is the one I'm going to do first!

More to do but the light isn't good enough to carry on so will resume at some other point. Am very pleased with my purchase :-)

put a little love in your heart

New song at choir! With some wah-oohs! And good words to have going round in my head, tho why stop at a little love?!
Sorry for not blogging earlier, its been a busy day, already feels like Friday, maybe as I've crammed so much work into the last two days. But its not Friday yet.