don't give up the day job

Yesterday was a day of poems, a couple written by my friends on facebook. So here is my contribution.

October. This means I've survived another year with the Month Of Painful Anniversaries.
But why do you have to be so rainy?
Please don't dash all the coloured leaves to the ground before I have time to appreciate them all.
Thanks.

... I gather it's national poetry day tomorrow. Maybe I peaked too soon? If my headache ever goes maybe I'll construct a second verse?

profit over people

What I really want to say is "how can you sleep at night?" but I don't think that would help. I'm still scandalised by the situation - that a company could charge £318 for a change of circumstance.
Maybe it's because I'm used to the charity sector, where our focus is on people, our "success" is based on people's satisfaction, our motivation is making a difference in people's lives. I understand how in the business sector, the bottom line is profit, and so in asking them to explain to me their reasoning I know that ultimately it is because they want to make as much money as possible. I also understand the need for a financial deterrent so that people don't easily cancel their contract. But at £318 to cancel an internet package, I feel they are making money out of people's misfortune when their circumstances change.
I'm feeling a bit better having spent the whole evening asleep on the sofa. Here's hoping today is better than yesterday.

... Maybe not. Still, there's still the evening. My head isn't as bad as yesterday so hopefully I can be awake this eve :)

honey

Getting to feel lots of feelings this money having cut off a financial safety net and made official calls which have brought back sad memories. Thick buttered toast with honey and mug of earl grey methinks, my comfort snack :)

It has been a phenomenally expensive day :( I have sent a ranty email even though that means I now need to find 7 people to send praise filled emails to. I think the bottom line is that the company currently incurring my wrath is aggressively seeking profit over customer satisfaction/wellbeing and perhaps that shouldn't surprise me. It certainly has not helped my headache any.

the glove plan

Our choir did good, apparently I now have a job for life (or til I'm in my 80s, which is when the last choir leader retired). I can't even think beyond Monday, let alone into my 80s, so I will keep living presently for now.
I am a bit emotional about the changes going on about me at the moment, and I don't mean the changing of the leaves (though being hit on the head by a massive apple yesterday whilst picking the tiny ones within reach didn't help). I need to channel these emotions into activity and so am going out to tackle the pool. I have a "rag bag" on the go (clothes the charity shop cannot seel that if I presort into rags they are grateful for), which is full of odd or holey gloves following that particular sort out. My cunning plan for the afternoon is to wear those as part of the cleaning process rather than use an old tea towel, which is my usual technique. I shall let you know if that idea bears fruit.

... I shall not be patenting the idea. I was way too squeamish when the wriggly creatures got stuck to the outside of the wool. I shall go back for round two after work tomorrow. I have created tons of space tho in the garage to house it when it finally does come down. Baby steps.

happy samba

Not only did we sing 'happy' with gusto, some of us then went along to a samba drumming gig after with much dancing. There was a choreographer who like a pied piper drew youngsters to follow him. I felt too old to join in so was very grateful for the wonderful person who pulled me in anyway. I liked her and her smiliness a lot.
Today had even more singing in it, and tomorrow is the service where the choir I lead will be singing our chant, in Latin, without music. It is incredibly quiet here, time to volunteer on the helpline methinks!

room without a roof

A good half hour of singing "Happy" meant I returned from choir incredibly bouncy!! Looking forwards to performing it with equal joy at our gig tonight. The pep talk our leader gave was great - the directors of both choirs I go to have recently repeatedly used the phrase "strong and wrong" - to sing with conviction and enjoyment, even if it's not the right notes :) This way of being has been great for me to learn. Perfectionism is a trait of Virgos, apparently, but for a long portion of my life, being seen to get it exactly right was important. As a child my mum once found me in frustrated tears surrounded by many many sheets of a notepad torn off because my drawing wasn't quite right. I have mellowed since then, I love the idea that it is better to be kind than right. Doing the right thing is still massively important to me, but getting things wrong is not as fearsome as it used to be :)

I woke this morning denied - I'd just been about to taste the slab of soft caramel (like the insides of a millionaire shortbread, to be honest it would have been far too sickly without the shortbread underneath) when the caravan we were in (it started out as a cafe and my daughter was being shown how to make it) began to roll and I had to get everybody out. Even in my dreams I assume responsibility!

good to see you!

I've observed a range of welcomes this week. I was able to let someone know how much their friendly rub of my arm meant to me many years back - she did the same yesterday and it was much appreciated then too as I was incredibly nervous before my presentation. She also used the phrase "it's good to see you" more than once and it's one I use myself too - I believe we need as much affirmation of our existence as we can give to one another. I also spotted someone's dismay when a late arrival complicated the arrangements, and I realised my raison d'etre at that moment was to ensure my delight at her arrival was made abundant, to counter that initial lack of welcome. I understand that we're not always pleased by the presence of someone else, but that is our stuff to deal with and we don't have to put it on them. I know it can be a challenge and I don't suggest we go for a downright lie if we don't feel it is good to see that person - but I think we have the capacity to reach deep down inside ourselves to find the truth of what we are glad about in relation to that particular person - they are a walking miracle too if we can open our heart enough to see it :D