some guys have all the luck

It is absolutely brilliant that after the week I had last week, that this weekend should be full of singing. We rehearsed all afternoon for our Christmas gig yesterday, and as a result sounded awesome, it's always so good to be the bringers of so much joy. I felt so lucky after, to be part of something so amazing. I don't think it is just luck tho. I know there's so much we don't have a say over, the crappy situations we can find ourselves in, but there are still choices within that crappiness. I had to work really hard this week to stay positive at times but I mainly managed it and I think it makes a big difference. Everytime I noticed something warmth giving - a radiator, the hot belly of the dog, or snuggly scarf, I gave thanks for the warmth.
As well as singing my favourite thing is being in the arms of those I love - my kids, my best friends, my boyfriend, or I'm somewhat surprised to discover, my hound. I often wish I had more opportunities to be with those I love when circumstances dictate that I'm not. But maybe by not being with them all the time I get to appreciate the time I do have more? So I enjoyed my night cuddled up with the dog I never really wanted anyway, and it was very lovely B-)
I hope you can feel lucky today too!

free mince pies

Very much in my element (as well as in the elements) this morning giving away free mince pies to shoppers in St Anne's, and so engaging in the resulting conversations as to how difficult diabetes is at Christmas etc. Just my sort of church activity, will have to think if we can do something similar more locally next year. Tho it turns out lots of people are not so keen on mince pies for all kinds of reasons.
I love explaining to people that we're not raising money for anything, just giving things away because it is good to do so.
Today is a non stop day so off again now. I hope you are able to notice all you're given B-)

snakes and ladders

My kids are smart. It was an evening of yet more stress and tears. My boy thought it was funny that I had 99 items in my inbox and was surprised I didn't share his amusement. So he suggested we played a board game together and chose snakes and ladders.
It was good to play, and the metaphors were blindingly obvious. I need to keep noticing that there are some ladders (the kind and unexpected email offering support from someone who'd seen my tears earlier in the week) and not just all the many and stupidly long snakes.

I don't want anyone else to have to go through the anxiety this mortgage process has caused, and so will be ringing to discuss my frustrations as soon as they open this morning (I suspect they don't open at 5.30am). I think this morning my hope is for some answers as to where things should have been done differently. so even tho I will probably have to ask to speak to whoever deals with complaints I'm not emotionally clear enough to make a complaint as such.

I do wonder if this is all a test rather than a game. It doesn't feel much like a game. So far I've not been mean to those who are causing the anguish (tho my poor kids have been on the receiving end of some swearing) so I feel I'm just about passing the test I set myself. I know it's possible to let people know I'm unhappy without having a go at them personally, I've done it before and I'm sure I can do it again today. I think I do practice my kindness muscles regularly and I liked reading about that in this article below. As always I think there are crossovers into all our relationships, tho this focuses on just the one type. Much love to us all today as we try and warmly deal with all the bids for attention that come in to us :)

http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11?IR=T

...
Go me for not being cross at all with any of the lovely people I've spoken to today. Tho I did cry a little (silently for once) when one of the people showed sympathy at how stressful it must be. We're hopefully moving forwards with a plan to try and get everything resolved just in the nick of time. I feel less progress has been made on highlighting where the mistakes were made and changing procedures so no-one ever has to experience it again, but I shall persist cos then good will come out of it, and I do like it when that happens :)

reasons to be cheerful

It was good to get away, though all that was making me sad and overwhelmed hasn't somehow resolved itself in my absence funnily enough. Maybe today there will be movement forwards?

Meanwhile I had better focus on what is positive. It always pleases me when strangers display trust. So I was pleased when a group of women in their 60s gathering for their annual school reunion, asked us to take a photo of them all. At the waterpark the other day I was a bit surprised when a woman nearby that I'd never met asked me to guard her bag as it had her iPad in it. Having just informed me of the contents, how did she know I wasn't then going to run off with it?

I guess it makes me happy that I'm not the only person who thinks the best of others rather than the worst.

... I'm sorry for all the swearing that was happening in my head so loudly that you all maybe heard it. Things got very very frustrating on the mortgage front. One day maybe I'll be able to laugh at just how many hurdles I have had. That day is not today. But right now I have an experiment to perform to hopefully determine if the leak is shower related.

many rivers to cross

My boyfriend does not like traversing bridges. The point of our break is to relax so we opted for a longer route avoiding the dreaded thelwall viaduct. Sadly we didn't realise the alternative route would involve several other bridges including the disliked runcorn bridge. I'm sure there's a moral there.

I don't get out much. Maybe this is a new and common thing, but it surprised me to see signs at the entrance of both pubs (the one where we slept and the one of the gig) saying people would not be served if wearing, or accompanying people wearing, tracksuits. Seems like discrimination to me.

I've seen the band 4 times now as my boyfriend is a big fan. Each time the support act has differed. Last night was the debut performance of The Great Indoors, so they're not on spotify yet but if they get there I recommend them - just to my taste with their tinkly xylophone, violin, awesome harmonies and words I could relate to.

Turns out my boyfriend hates shopping even more than I do. When the first shop failed to have its promised stock that was enough. So I've returned without any presents but we did have a nice time walking the walls. These were two of my favourite observations. Firstly the way the sun had melted all but a strip of frost remaining on the wooden handrail. The light was lovely today and the weather beautiful, if frosty. Winter is here. And below, a cormorant standing in shallow water holding its wings open to the wind to dry them. I don't envy it standing in the chilly water but loved the idea of holding my wings open to the elements. Might have to give that a try.

the price of principles

I've noticed that having principles can be costly in many ways. Last week I popped to my local shop for pesto, the main ingredient in that night's meal. Now one of the things I like about co-op is its honesty. So when it says on a label that it's used eggs from caged hens I put it back. So in one way they lose out as I then don't buy that product, but in the long run I stay a loyal customer.
There were 2 pesto options. The first was a co-op brand and so admitted that it was made with calf rennet. The second was a more expensive brand, listing the same ingredients but no mention as to suitability for vegetarians. I pondered the dilemma awhile - it didn't say it wasn't ok, but I had my doubts. I concluded my girly would not eat something if it's acceptability was questionable and I didn't want to put her in that position. And so I then trekked to the supermarket where there was again an own label jar alongside the same we'll known brand. Only here there was an additional choice - the expensive brand also does a vegetarian version. So I was right, as a veggie version confirms that their other one clearly isn't. It cost £2.59 compared to just 89p for the supermarket's own. Sticking to my principles has a price.
And yet how guilty would I have felt giving my girly something against what she believes in? If I'm not true to myself then there's a greater cost, one I'm not willing to pay. Is there a limit to the price I'll pay for my principles? I don't know and I'm hoping I don't get pushed to find out!!!

there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend

This week is unusual, if all goes to plan. That's a big if, obviously, and I'm trying to stay optimistic, but my optimism has taken a massive hit recently. so I'm half expecting a sick child or some other spanner in the works.
I have a long work day in Blackpool today in exchange for my usual Tuesday, and I'm taking Wednesday as annual leave (yes that's right I'm taking my holiday, hurrah!).
For the less diligent readers amongst you, I need a bit of time off.
And even if things don't go to plan, it'll work out. My main hope is to not have much conflict - life's just too short for that. Xx