I started this blog post two weeks ago but have been preoccupied with engaging in the increased intensity of the Black Lives Matter movement.
I was suprised by my strong reaction to the phrase that "life is on hold".
I understand that many people right now are waiting for things to be better. I also know that my experience of lockdown is a lot more positive than for other people. But I also think we’ve been misled if we think living is only about an expected way of spending our time, that it has to involve pubs or shopping or hugging loved ones, even tho we might be really looking forward to doing those things.
We’re still living, whether we’re in a hospital bed, a prison cell, walking down a littered road or sat for hours on a battered settee. I have been inspired by people who have chosen to fully live even tho life did not go as they planned. People falsely improsoned, people dealing with life changing injuries.
What if we found life in wherever we were? What if we looked for the opportunities to learn or to give from wherever we are? The folk who seem most content are those able to give thanks for what is rather than what isn’t. I know it can be difficult- there have been times when I have been stuck in depression when gratitude is really difficult. But I also know know that those times were still part of my life - my plans might have been on hold or in disarray but our lives are not.
Friday, 12 June 2020
Tuesday, 2 June 2020
Appreciating community
A friend was berating the lack of community feeling and I got to appreciate just how strong my own sense of involvement is in various communities. I guess it depends on the circumstances we’re each in- if work occupies a big chunk of our lives, it’s hard to find energy to invest in creating community. And I think it does require investment, I think even in for example cohousing, community isn’t inevitable, everyone has to play their part, and we might have to face a whole lot of fear of rejection etc in reaching out, and accepting that others might initially be wary.
In my own experience (neighbours, church, and other communities such as shared interests like choirs) it involves taking time to chat- asking after one another to build those bonds, it might include cards when we’re experiencing something like a loss. It’s full of give and take but not in a score keeping way - there are people who have shared more with me than I’ll ever share back with them, and people to whom I’ve given that probably will never give something to me in particular but that’s completely fine as the point is a sharing for the common good rather than personal gain.
The sharing might be tangible. In recent months there has been a surprise on my doorstep most weeks- home baked cookies, eggs, seedlings, an excess of bananas, an Easter Egg. Over the years there has been bags of school uniform, jigsaw puzzles, and even cash. I remember being delighted to find a milk bottle returned full of flowers from someone’s garden, so my favourite lockdown pastime has been to cut flowers from my wonderfully wild back garden, and leave them on people’s doorsteps.
Of course we are more to one another than material objects. People in my communities have listened to me, encouraged me, hugged me, checked in on me, remembered me, inspired me. And I do that to others too. They’ve also shared gardening tips, asked me for breastfeeding information, offered me tea, driven me to an interview, fed our guinea pigs, I’ve put their bins back, they’ve weeded, I’ve carried bags, washed laundry when their machine broke... all the little things that have us know we are interrelated and do better together than apart.
Even if communities are built around a shared passion, like singing, we are not all the same and I think a big part of community is staying committed to a concept of caring even tho we vote differently, hold differing beliefs, are in a variety of situations, and sometimes upset or annoy one another. Communities can be across space eg Facebook, the Umma (worldwide Muslims) and not just thought of as folk on our street (tho I'd argue that's a really important community to build as if you get locked out, having real life friendly neighbours is vital!)
As often is the case, I learn loads from my daughter. When she was young she wrote Christmas cards for the dog walkers we bumped into on the field (she knew the dog’s names not those of the owners). She recognised early on that it’s important to treasure the people in our lives who shape the fabric of our existence. I keep trying to live by her example.
In my own experience (neighbours, church, and other communities such as shared interests like choirs) it involves taking time to chat- asking after one another to build those bonds, it might include cards when we’re experiencing something like a loss. It’s full of give and take but not in a score keeping way - there are people who have shared more with me than I’ll ever share back with them, and people to whom I’ve given that probably will never give something to me in particular but that’s completely fine as the point is a sharing for the common good rather than personal gain.
The sharing might be tangible. In recent months there has been a surprise on my doorstep most weeks- home baked cookies, eggs, seedlings, an excess of bananas, an Easter Egg. Over the years there has been bags of school uniform, jigsaw puzzles, and even cash. I remember being delighted to find a milk bottle returned full of flowers from someone’s garden, so my favourite lockdown pastime has been to cut flowers from my wonderfully wild back garden, and leave them on people’s doorsteps.
Of course we are more to one another than material objects. People in my communities have listened to me, encouraged me, hugged me, checked in on me, remembered me, inspired me. And I do that to others too. They’ve also shared gardening tips, asked me for breastfeeding information, offered me tea, driven me to an interview, fed our guinea pigs, I’ve put their bins back, they’ve weeded, I’ve carried bags, washed laundry when their machine broke... all the little things that have us know we are interrelated and do better together than apart.
Even if communities are built around a shared passion, like singing, we are not all the same and I think a big part of community is staying committed to a concept of caring even tho we vote differently, hold differing beliefs, are in a variety of situations, and sometimes upset or annoy one another. Communities can be across space eg Facebook, the Umma (worldwide Muslims) and not just thought of as folk on our street (tho I'd argue that's a really important community to build as if you get locked out, having real life friendly neighbours is vital!)
As often is the case, I learn loads from my daughter. When she was young she wrote Christmas cards for the dog walkers we bumped into on the field (she knew the dog’s names not those of the owners). She recognised early on that it’s important to treasure the people in our lives who shape the fabric of our existence. I keep trying to live by her example.
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